The lighthouse is a tool men who sail ships use to find their way along rocky shores at night.
Jesus is the lighthouse I use to find my way in the storms of life and when darkness trys to darken my way.
no one can find their way in the darkness without a light to show the way.everyone needs a tool to see clearly.
this summer has had its storms and darkness.and the Lord has always lite my way.
some say you can,t hear Gods voice to guide you.but its just not true.in the word of God he speaks,in the heart who crys to him for help he answers,in the stillness of the night he comes to comfort if we look to him for it.
I have had a few thing,s to deal with that could have sent me over a cliff or made me lose my way.but the Lord guided me safely along .
On the 16th of July the hearing for the divorce was.I was not able to be there in person dew to some problem,s.so the court was kind enough to give me a phone hearing.it was a hard time for me before the hearing.I spent some restless nights because of it.but the Lord asured me it was the best thing for me to do.was to get it over with and move on.
so as the time drew near I was finely at peace about the day.and as it came I was ready.I called the number they gave me and a lady said she would dial me into the courtroom.
the commissener asked us each if we wanted a divorce.we both said yes.then he asked us if eather of us wanted money from eather and we said no.and then he asked hubby to raise his hand and swear to tell the truth so help me God.
hubby said I will swear but I do not believe in God anymore.the room got very still almost as if everyone held their breath.I felt a sick feeling in my heart.and then knew that what the Lord had been telling me was true.hubby had gone the other way.
the rest of the hearing went fast,I was asked to tell the truth and raise my hand and swear.and soon it was almost over.I asked if I could say something.the commish said yes.
I said "in the near future I hope hubby finds his faith again,cause what he said really hurt me".the commish didnt know what to say.then it was all over and I was able to hang up.
I sat there and thought about all that had happened and what was said.and as I sat there a word came to me from the bible."do not be unequily yocked together,believer to nonebeliever."and then I knew why it was best to let even the friendship go.
when two people are not in the same mind set its hard to have harmony or a relationship cause you would always be fighting over it or it would always be a golf between you.
I have had friends who dont believe in God.but as we talked about some of the things that God did for me in my life.the person learned faith.and soon they where seeking God on their own.
one of my best friends recieved Jesus as the Lord of her life only 3 years before she passed away.Ill see maureen in heaven one day.I miss her every day cause she was a sweet lady.she had a heart of gold and would give you the blouse of her back if you needed it.
and one other friend gave her life to the Lord about 5 years before she left to go home.Ill see her to in heaven.she was a dear friend to.she and I use to go traveling.we spent time going on addventures together.her name was Doris.I miss her every day to.
and down through the time others have been touched by Jesus in my life.my sister-in- law,who is now just my sister in christ.came to know Jesus when her brother and I got together.she is now serving God because of what happen while the ex and I were together.and what God was doing in our lives.
but when the hubby flipped out and truned around.the testimony was ripped apart and others who were watching were turned off.its sad but when you cant do anything about it.you have to let it go.
just cause this all happened I didnt give up on God and his plan for my life.I just put it in his hands and went on alone with his help.did I love my ex?yes but my love cant hold someome who didnt love me.when I could no longer stand the stress of the wierd stuff going on.I said Lord my heart can take no more.and the Lord said give him the choice to stay or leave.I was afraid to,cause I still loved him.but I did as the Lord said and gave hubby his choice.
he choose to leave,and when he did the marriage was over.he choose to throw away what we had.and he gave up my love for him and basicly said he didnt love me or want me.what I had given him wasnt valued by him.
and he then blames me cause the things didnt come true.well I dont know about you but it takes two to hold a marriage together.and when one leaves cause that is what he chooses.how can anyone blame God for the choices they make?
will the things God promised me still come to pass? yes!!!only not the way they would have had a few choices not been made.I know God loves me and will never leave me or forsake me.but God is not like human,s.he keeps his promises,they dont.
do I still love the ex?no.but I do care about his soul and where it will spend forever.I prayed and put the ex in the Lords hands.cause I can no longer reach his heart,but God can.
see the ex left God but God didnt leave him.when God makes a promise he keeps it.the HOLY SPIRIT will call out to the ex to return to Jesus, till the day he draws his last breath.and then if the ex still refuses then its not Gods fault.
I felt for a long time that maybe I could have do some thing else.but when I prayed about it the Lord said you can not over ride free will.when someone choice is made its done.you have to step away and let it be.God did not make us pupits.he gave us free will to choose.and the ex didnt really want me in the frist place.he was telling one thing and thinking something else.
Did he love me when we got married?he said he did and I thought he did.he acted like it.his family even said he was sure a good acter if he didnt love me.and he should go to holly wood.yes I said the same thing.
but now with all said and done I see why the Lord told me to give the ex his choice.when the ex stood up in the court room and said what he said about not believing in God anymore.I knew then I had been spared more heart ache by letting him go.
if the ex wont go with me to heaven,Ill not go with him to hell.
there is no other way to heaven but throught Jesus and the cross.the ex wrote me a letter saying he was believing in something called life recordings.and said some other stuff.
but the only way to be saved is through Gods plan not mans.yes life is being recorded.and if the recording is in the book of sin,s and there is no blood to wash them away, then they are still there .and one day a holy God will look at those unwashed life recordings and send the person where he or she choose.and Jesus will cry cause the price was payed but the person refused it.
I dont understand why all this happen in the frist place.but when I ask the Lord all I get is "in this world we will have problems,and we have a enemy who comes to steal, kill ,and distory."and that Jesus comes to give us life more abondantly.
so I let the past drop off me on the 16th and I walk on.I should have had a break down my self,but thanks to Jesus and his love I didnt.I should have just given up and let depression take over,but I didnt cause Jesus comforted me and I went on.
I should have said its all a lie cause the marriage fell apart..but I didnt cause I know people no matter who they are cant be trusted .they make choises that can hurt you.and they can ever betray you and blame you for their own problems.
I take full blame for the marriage and for my own hurt.I believe its better to have loved then never to have loved at all.and if my love was worth nothing to the ex.its ok cause at lest he had someone who did love him without letting his wierd past to stand in the way.
and I should have run its true and all this would never have happen in the frist place.but I believed God could change someone so much that their life could reach others.and I still believe it.I just dont believe it can be forced on someone who would rather believe lies then the truth.
Iam going to stick my kneck out and speak this into the heavenlys.I believe one day that the ex will come to his sences and will call out to God and get back where he belongs with Jesus.and I believe the ex will tell me he has his faith back.and then Ill say good its about time.
will we ever be man and wife again?no its over and Ill never marry again.I learned my leason.life is to short to have someone you love treat you like crap.only Jesus is a great husband only his love makes life full.a man can never give you the love your looking for.they can try but they will always hurt you or cause you pain.and secrets in their lives could cause you even more pain.yes some have good relationships.but dig alittle just under the surface and you will find one person is letting it slide.there is no perfect people in this world.only one there ever was is Jesus.
for me my moto will be (single is better.)Isaiah 54.is what I hang onto.its a promise from God.and I trust his promises.
I aint no angel and maybe a better women could have done better then me.but I am after all me and I have to be true to my heart.sometimes my heart makes choices that have hurt me deeply.I have fallen for men who didnt love or value me.I have tryed to be the best I could be in all I do but I have failed.I believe the only thing I ever did in my life that was good.was my two girls.Oh they aint perfect and they make mistakes.but what I couldnt do the Lord did.
one day Ill face God and Ill have to answer to him for my life and what I did with it.and Ill have to plead the blood.cause with out Jesus nothing I have done would count for anything without him.
I want to hear him say well done good and faithful servent come into your reward.but Iam no fool Ill be real blessed if I hear it,cause I make alot of mistakes.but I know he loves me away.and hopefully he takes what I try to do and looks at the desires of my heart and finds joy that I want to do good,I just dont always make it.
have a great summer my dear friends.you are in my thoughts and prayers.God bless you and keep you safe till we speak again.thanks for stopping by and for your friendship,and comments.its always nice to see you on my blog.
to (travistee) stopped over to say hi and answer your comment on blog.but it said I needed to i d my self cause I had to be welcomed by you.so I just didnt have time to mess with it.so its nice others have asked where Iam.but its best I dont comment on the things said on your blog.
I have expressed my feelings and worrys for you and some of your choices.but most of what I have said is like a wisper in the darkness or the wind.I hope you find what your looking for.and hope you stop throwing your self away.and find someone who will value you.but you cant do it if you step in between someone and the one who belongs to them.you cant start a relationship on sin it will fall apart.maybe not right away but sooner or later it will.
and they use to have a saying and its true."what goes around comes around".
so if ya dont want some chic horning in on your relationship,s then stop doing it to others.people who do that dont have many woman friends after a while.cause they want to keep their hubbys or boyfriends.
I aint one to beat around the bush I say it like I see it.I wish you well but I cant see being your moral compas any more your old enough to do it your self.think of your kids.one day they will be looking for mates.do you want them doing the things your doing?life is hard as it is without them getting hurt to.
some woman now days will kill a girl who step,s in on her man.if your daugther thinks its ok to steal a man she could meet one of these wild chic,s.I hope that never is the case.hope she finds love with someone who values her and they live in love till they draw their last breath.as much in love as they were the day they met.and I hope your other kids do to.
I know you may get mad its ok.I am a friend who will tell you the truth.and pray it makes you think..