ha ha that was a good one.

Happy April fools day.

two fools were sitting on a rock.one fool said to the other "thank God for this rock or we would be sitting in the fire".

the other fool said "you told me there wasnt any God".

the other fool said well you know I am a fool, why did you liston to me?the other fool said cause birds of a feather flock together.

the bible says "the fool says in his heart there is no God."I hope none of us are april fool,s or fools at all.cause I want us all to be in heaven together.it wouldnt be heaven without all the people.. God made heaven for his family. and hell for the devil and his clan,but not for people.God intended for all people to believe in and recieve Jesus so they could come to heaven when they leave here.but some will refuse to believe and end in hell.its sad but true.

things here have been looking better.I was thinking about having to go and get the papers for the divorce and go though all the run around.and i was praying about it.I said Lord you know I never wanted to go through a divorce again.and how I felt about all the stuff that has gone on this last 5 years.its been a hard time for me and my family.

mom passing away,Lucy and her problems,now them getting a divorce,my father passing away.and all the other things that have come and gone. to let us know we still have a enemy here on earth and he is alive and well.well I was sitting just talking to the Lord about it.and the phone rang.it was hubby on the other end.he said he was going to take care of the papers.he said he had got the help he needed through SSI. and he had some money so he could do the papers.

I was so glad cause I dont like filing the stuff.it was a answer to prayers.so I will be able to sign the papers in a few days.and shortly there after it will all be done.

I hung up the phone with this feeling of joy or peace so strong.I was so surprised of how good I felt.I sat there for a few seconds just thinking.why did I feel so good?it was because I am free from the past.they say its dumb to cry over spilt milk.and its true,you cant go back and change things that didnt work out.all you can do is move on and trust the Lord to help you.

I wish hubby well and hope he finds what he is looking for.but I do not want him for a friend or any thingelse.28 years has showed me that as a friend he wasnt really one.cause when I needed him the most he wasnt there for me.and to be honest he was never there for me.he even said finely he didnt love me.he hadnt been honest with me.he even said he didnt remember all the good times we had,and that had happened before to.when he had his second melt down.I had to take the picture album and show him the smiles on his face and the things we had done together.and how much fun we had.its funny to hear someone say things like that.cause when you are with someone and they are saying they love you and how much they are enjoying their self.and then down the line they say "I never loved you,or I only loved you like a friend".then you say well you should go to Holly Wood cause your a good actor!!!!

but then I say a mind can do wierd things to you if your not careful.and being in a wac ward 5 times in 5 years shows there is some thing wrong.some people cant handle the storms of life.they are use to having things handed to them on a silver platter by the enemy.if your walking with him and not God.then the enemy pretty much leaves you alone.your living in sin and your headed to hell so the devil just lets you be.

but when you make a turn around and head away from the devil and head to God.then is when you meet the devil head on.and he doesnt want to lose you.so he throws a few road blocks in your path to see if you mean business.and if you do mean business he knows he cant push you around.and soon if you stick to your gun,s you have the enemy on the run.

well some people have a problem.they have never had to fight for anything in life.every thing seems to just come to them.and when they get in a hot spot they give up and in...and they find themselves in a mess.

hubby had a easy life.he was nice looking and had a personality that pretty much got him what he wanted.and he just went with "what feels good do it".and he got into some wierd places because of it.lets just say when he was giving his testimony it would trun the church folks cheeks red.and send some running.me I was in shock when I finely heard it all.

and yes I had a colorful life to,sin is sin!!!but I didnt even know you could do some of the things hubby did,or why anyone would want to in the first place.sin just opens up some nasty doors you dont want opened.and its sad when someone gets into something that can cause so much bad and evil.

I prayed for years for him to be free of the demon,s he had.and out of the blue the Lord got him free.and hubby was headed in the right way.but then some thing happened and all of the mess started and we ended as we are.he doesnt remember the good we had.and I cant go back to the bad.

it makes me wonder why God had me care so much at one time to pray for hubbys freedom before he was even my hubby.hubby had "only" been a friend for years.never dreamed Id be married to him,never crossed my mind.then all at once one day we were together and married.

but when I found out he didnt really love me like he said he did.then all of what I was believing is a lie.and you question your own heart and what it believes.

but I know when I married him I was loving him and wanting to be the best wife a man could have.and for a long time I did every thing to be just that!!! but then it all came down around my ear,s.and little by little we ended here.and its the best thing that could have happened.what I thought was a curse by losing him.turned out to be a blessing in hiding.

that may sound mean or hard hearted.but its true.when he left it was a blessing.he is moving in a diffrent dertection then me.he wants to believe some thing else so he can move on.and its ok if what your believing is true.but if its not then your moving the wrong way.

he believes we were never suppose to be together.well thats ok but we were and nothing can change the fact we were.and good came out of it. his family is seeking the Lord more.and one more of the family was saved and serving the Lord.and the family is learning their rights as a childen of God..

the problem was that hubby wanted the promises the Lord made to come to pass in hubby,s timing.and when it didnt hubby got upset and figured it was lie,s.well as long as I have been walking with the Lord I learned this.it comes in Gods time not your,s!!!!and He keeps His promises,it just comes in fullness of time.or at the right time.the Lord doesnt give you some things if your still living in sin.he does not reward sin.some times your just not ready,so the Lord waits till you are.

hubby just couldnt stand the fact that things werent moving fast enough for him.he figured if he couldnt have every thing right now!!!that it wasnt true.well I been walking with the Lord for over 38 years and I am still waiting for some things.others have come already,and others I still am believing for.

the Lord had promised us a computer when hubby was still here.I didnt want one cause I have my reason,s.but when hubby left soon after the computer came.and that is why Iam on it.this is not my blog its the Lords blog.I didnt want the computer in the first place.but here it is and this blog is why.

when hubby was here we had been believing for a new van.well when hubby left and I didnt have a car.my mom let me use her van.and when she passed away it was given to me.now Id rather have my mom then the van.but it was her time to go and she wanted me to have it so I would have a van.so God worked it out.mom had just went out and got the van only little while before she got sick.so you see the Lord was working out the plan.(and no he doesnt kill people off so their kid can have a van. infect God does not kill anyone sickness and disease does,and that is from the devil.)

but he does know when our time is up and we wont be needing some thing..any way God is faithful and keeps his word.He told me to believe for a van.and he would work it out.I knew I had no money to even get one.so I said Lord please have someone give me one.or pervide the money.

and if God promises you something with someone and that person doesnt stick around till it comes.then dont give up cause God will still keep his word to you.I know that what God promised me will come to pass if Hubby is here or not.how do I know?cause God does not lie,but people have their own free will.and if it looks like God lied then look closer,cause he has to deal with free well.that means He can promise something but if the person moves before God and doesnt trust him.then God has to work it out another way.it just means it will take some more time,but it will come to pass.

hubby is gone and what we had is in the past.he didnt love me ,he loved the stuff.well when the stuff was slow to show up hubby was fast to run.well would I want someone who didnt love me or meet my needs to share in my blessings?no!!! so if hubby wasnt the man for the job then he wasnt the man for me..and I am blessed to be alone.

Once when I was praying the Lord said something to me that stuck.He said " I picked 12 men and one was a demon or trader.so what makes you think your the only one who has people betray you?

and you know it helped me.cause Jesus knows how I feel and can comfort me.he lived on this earth and went through the same things we do.only he did it without sinning.

so yes this last few years have been the pits and Id rather they never happen at all.but I have servived and learned from them.and I did not get crushed by them, I became stronger in my faith and my walk with Jesus.and I learned to fly like the eagle ,as I set my wings and raise above the storms of life .

life is never easy and at times it is the pits.but with Gods help we will make it if we stick close to him and not stop believing.so if God has promised you things or your believing for things dont give up just cause it doesnt look like they will come true.just remember we dont live by site we live by faith..

God bless you all and sorry so long but I promised Id tell you the truth and about my life and so it takes words to do it.

pray for Lucy and her family.the choses she and her hubby have made have brought them to divorce. I can see both sides of it.and only hope they can learn from this.and grow closer to the Lord.life can be hard if your trying to fly alone with out Gods help.and if you really love someone you do what ever it takes to get them back.if you dont its best for both if you move on.each person desevers love and respect,and to be happy. (I have given it to the Lord.I still had hope they would work it out.and was praying with the girls for it.but now i just have to put it in the Lord,s hands.its no longer my fight its his.if he wants them back together he will have to change hearts to do it.)

I know two familys that ended up spliting cause of dumb choises.one was trying to get the other person back after cheating on them.but still running around with other people.and could not understand why the other person didnt want them back.people arent stupid and can see its not worth saving and the smart ones move on.if your still running around why would someone take you back.people who lie about their sin,s still arent ready to learn.and God will not let a person like that, find happyness if they are still living in sin.cause they would think God rewarded sin and he doesnt.

the other one was a family who had split cause the lady was a drunk and run around.well when the hubby finely was moving on and had someone else,then the wife came back and broke it up.then she would move on again.now they are together but still not married.people are wierd.they dont know what they have till its gone,and sometimes you cant get it back.

free will is what the problem is.people make choices and fall for the enemys traps and soon they find themselves in a hole with no way out.but we all have to learn.some of us have to learn the hard way or by making the same mistake over and over tell we see the truth.

I pray we all learn the frist time so we dont spend so much time in the messes.